You know why these are unannoying? Because things in those two categories do something for me, the reader. To be unannoying, a Facebook status typically has to be one of two things:

To examine this a bit, let’s start by discussing the defining characteristics of statuses that are not annoying. It comes down to a pretty simple rule: A Facebook status is annoying if it primarily serves the author and does nothing positive for anyone reading it.

It made me think about what makes terrible Facebook behavior terrible, and why other Facebook behavior isn’t annoying at all. I read it again and again, fascinated by how something could be so aggressively unappealing. It was everything bad about everything, all at once.īut instead of distancing myself from the horror, I soaked in it. I had the same facial expression I’d have on if someone made me watch a live event where people had their skin slowly peeled off. What a world.īy the time I finished reading, I realized that my non-phone hand was clutching tightly to my forehead, forcefully scrunching my forehead skin together. Went to amazing weddings in Upstate New York. Drank the best orange juice I’ve ever had with Davey Welch. Had a conversation about Barack Obama with David Gregory. I got to hang with Owen Wilson, and worked with Will Ferrell on an amazing project. I started yoga (thanks Jake Fisher & Jonah Perlstein!). I started dating my angel, Jaime Holland. I left my amazing job at NBC to move back to Chicago. I’m going about my afternoon pleasantly, when I open my email and a friend has forwarded me what she calls a particularly heinous Facebook status from her news feed, written by someone we’ll call Daniel.

Red button meme i love you so much